Reassurance
by laurzz
Summary: DannyLindsay. Post ep for 7x15 "She'd barely seen Danny in the time working the case, which hadn't helped if she was honest. As unprofessional as it was, she needed his presence sometimes."


**A/N: So, we got the most amazing Lindsay episode ever. EVER... yet she couldn't have an EFFING SCENE WITH HER HUSBAND? For goodness sake, PTB. ...SCENE? Write yourselves notes to remind you that they're effing married, okay? Clearly you need that. Just a little note at the top of every script; it'll work a treat - believe me! I think the day we get a DL scene I'll die from shock to the system. I actually don't even know how many weeks it's been since they spoke. They spoke more in season 1 as of right now... and Lindsay wasn't even in the show then! Good golly.**

**But in other news! Saoidfglksefja;klerhgklsuhgur! That. Episode. Was. Amazing! An abundance of Anna that actually nearly killed me! I don't think I quite expected the sheer amount of scenes we actually got – that was centric to her and only her. And damn. A scene with Jo? Holy moly. If we'd have had a DL scene it'd been a 5 star on the Laurzz scale.**

**But never mind... there's always next week.**

**(P.s. please excuse the rambling... long story. long night. long A/N... on with the show now Laura!) **

**Huge, huge, huge, HUGEEEE thank you to every one who reviewed (and read of course!) last week's post-ep! You guys are superstars for making my day, and I'm glad you seem to enjoy them still - which I hope is the case! Mentions to: **houdinigirl, Alex Joleta, webdlfan, MesserFamilyFan100, saderia, FoxPhile, jennifer32485, Sweet LIL loz, brendanakai, 18lzytwner, LoveIsInTheAir4DL, afrozenheart412, xxCrimexObsessedxPrincessxx **and...** Meredith and Derek!

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Post-ep oneshot: Season 7, episode 15; Vigilante

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Lindsay Messer let out a breath as she punched in the combination to her locker. The breath did very little in calming her as always, but yet, she always seemed to do it. Everything was always so fast paced, that often she couldn't catch her breath, so she'd let out a breath at the end of every case. She could only assume it was her way of stepping out of Detective Messer and stepping into Lindsay Messer. She also thought that she was trying to compress the load that had been on her shoulders for the duration of the latest case... only for it to start again the next day.

Her job wasn't easy, and some days it was a far cry from rewarding, fulfilling and a pleasure to do – but just as she would lose faith, a mother would thank the team for finding their son's killer... or a father would thank them for finding his daughter's rapist. And it was those days, and those moments that Lindsay focused on. They were what motivated her; not because it helped her to deal with the things she'd seen in that particular case, but she'd been there – in that position, thanking the lead investigator on a case. She'd been there, done that, and had witnessed the small smile that tugged at the detective's face as a sense of pride and satisfaction that one had made a difference in someone else's life.

So she knew how much thanks really went into a thank you.

So when Kate took the card from her, Lindsay knew just how much courage and acceptance it had taken to accept the olive branch that she had extended to her.

If she was honest, the case had well and truly taken it's toll on her. She was exhausted. She ached. She hurt. She had been fighting an internal battle for the past few days. And she was slowly coming down from the adrenaline that had been pumping in her system.

She'd barely seen Danny in the time working the case, which hadn't helped if she was honest. As unprofessional as it was, she needed his presence sometimes. She needed to talk to him, have reassurance from him... feel like she wasn't losing her mind completely. And with him off in the field, chasing up leads as she dealt with the victims-slash-suspects, they'd not even managed to cross paths in the hallway.

She glanced at her watch and let out a sigh. She never realised before, but she glanced at her watch a lot. She found herself checking the time all the way through her shifts; when she was questioning a suspect; when she was analysing evidence. When Kate had pointed the small fact out to her, Lindsay made a mental note of pulling herself up on checking the time while in the presence of others.

And really, the only reason why she checked the time? Was to see how long she had left before she could collapse on the couch with her daughter and husband; completely forgetting the troubles going on in the world.

Mac had caught her that day; a mere half an hour before her shift ended and pleaded with her to go along to a rape victim's support meeting to do an informal talk and offer advice on how to deal with trauma. He'd argued that she was the most suited to the job... and the trust that Mac had placed within her had swayed her from wanting to say no to accepting the responsibility. Except, maybe she hadn't been the best choice. Hell, even Flack wouldn't have been so disrespectful as to check his watch as much as she must have done.

To be honest, it embarrassed her. And really, it hurt her a little bit. Although it was hard, she could still cast her mind back to being her sixteen year old self, sitting in a victim's support group and desperately wanting someone to reach out to her... and she'd been able to get that support. Now the tables were turned; she was the one providing support, and she'd been too busy thinking about her daughter, husband and other more important things to be that person that made a difference. When she became a cop, she promised herself that the second she didn't take an opportunity to make a difference, she'd hand her badge in and call it a day, because clearly she had lost her focus on why she wanted to be a cop in the first place.

"Somebody looks deep in thought," a strong accent sounded from behind her.

"I'm just in the midst of a fierce internal battle," she sighed, turning in the arms of her husband. "Where have you been all day? I've needed you more than you'd believe."

"Here there and everywhere," he sighed. "And you've been a pain in my ass tryin' to track down. One second you're in lock-up, the next you're in interrogation... and then I get a freaking phone-call telling me you just kicked some ninja girl's ass in a pole dancin' joint."

"You heard about that?"

"Flack's currently havin' a wet dream about it," Danny smirked, desperately trying to lighten the mood. "Said he'd never seen you like it."

"Fat chance I was letting her get away."

"Flack said she got you pretty good."

Lindsay shrugged. "It's nothing."

Staring at her with a no-nonsense look in his eyes, he shook his head. "I ain't takin' that shit. Lift your top up."

"This isn't a peep-show, Dan."

"Lift it up before I do it for you," he instructed.

"Dan, no. It's inappropri-"

Before she even had the chance to finish her sentence, his fingers had abruptly pulled up the material of her top and he was currently examining her flat stomach. "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? Look at the state of that!" he cried at the bruise forming on her stomach. "Linds, you're black and blue."

"You should see Flack," she quipped, curling her fingers around the hem of her top and attempting to pull it back down to meet her slacks. "It's really nothing, it looks worse than what it is."

"Bullshit," he scowled at her, lifting her top up quickly to get another look. "Linds, that looks really bad. Maybe you need to get it checked; maybe an x-ray?"

"Danny, don't be ridiculous." She scoffed. "It's a bruise for goodness sake. She kicked me. Big deal."

"Can I quote you at your funeral?"

"Funeral?" Lindsay looked at him, desperately fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "Stop it with the dramatics. I'm fine."

"I'm keepin' my eye on you," he informed her sternly. "I'll get Lu in on it too if I have to."

"Do it," she shrugged. "I know you will anyway."

"Least we're on the same page," he shrugged in response. "So, the case is done and dusted then?"

"Well," Lindsay shrugged. "I guess technically yes, but well... I just... I don't know."

He took her hand and led her to the bench. "Not exactly the most private of settings, but it's about as good as we're going to get right now. What don't you know babe?"

"How over this case actually is," she began. "Like Kate for instance, her life is just starting again; but just from the look in her eyes I can tell that she's fighting a losing battle inside with guilt. She's relieved that he's gone, but there's always that question of is it her fault? Did she let some vigilantes get there before Karma could?"

"What if Karma was the vigilantes?" Danny countered.

Lindsay shrugged. "I don't know... my ethics are shot to hell right now," Lindsay admitted. "I don't really know what to think any more."

"Why?" Danny asked.

"Because," she sighed. "Am I glad that justice has been served and a predator is off the streets, or do I stay impartial and think bad of the two people who have committed murder?"

"Well, there's two ways to answer this." Danny began. "First, you stay impartial and simply sign the dotted line at the bottom of your report... or alternatively, and I think we both know this is the one that is actually going down... you fight with yourself for feeling relief for the women that were violated by that monster and go home tonight knowing that Kate is going to get a damn good night's sleep tonight."

"I don't think I will," Lindsay shook her head. "I'm... I'm really struggling Danny. Like, _really_ struggling."

"Why?" he pressed. "You're – you're usually good at internalising your thoughts and staying in cop mode. What's the difference with this case?"

"Kate saw me as Lindsay... I let her see the part of me that I try to keep separate. Usually Lindsay doesn't surface and it's just Detective Messer... but Kate, she saw Lindsay wanting to go home to her daughter and husband... and I... I... I let her down Danny."

"You what?"

"I let Kate down. She needed me, and I was too concerned about my shift ending to notice."

"Lindsay, you came home that night if I remember correctly and told me you'd been asked for a gun. Now first of all, that's just ludicrous for you to even say that. What did she think, the NYPD just hands out guns for the shits and giggles of it? The last thing we're going to do is make more work for ourselves and willingly hand out fuckin' firearms. What she asked of you was ridiculous. You gave her an alternative, based on what she wanted and sent her on her way. When are you going to learn that you can only do what you can do?"

"I kept looking at my watch though," she sniffled, emotions quickly taking their toll on her. "I made her feel uncomfortable. I made her think that I didn't care."

"You know what your problem is babe; you care too much."

Lindsay shook her head adamantly as a tear cascaded down her cheek. "No," she whispered. "No I don't. You just think I do, but really, I don't..."

"You're upset," Danny observed. "Hence the talk now; you, Lindsay Messer care. And sometimes it's the best thing about you... and other times it's the worst thing in the world because you care _too_ much. So freakin' what if you looked at your watch when you were at the support group. You could have done a lot worse."

"There's not much more I could have done other than made them feel like the one place they could come to didn't want them there. They go to the support group for support Danny, and the last thing I was that night was supportive."

"Linds, you had a baby girl, a husband in a wheelchair and a life to live. Yes you're a cop, but you're human. You're not perfect and that's what I love about you."

"I let her down though Danny."

"No you didn't," Danny shook his head. "Because you've come through for her now when she needed you the most. I know you persevered with her and practically held her hand for the entire investigation even though she lied to your face. You overlooked that; laid everything out on the table to her and gave her about a million chances." After she looked at him, surprised, he couldn't help but smirk. "I may not have been around that much babe, but I still know what's goin' down around here. I got eyes and ears everywhere."

"I just feel like I can't see the point anymore. Am I in the right profession if I'm not making a difference anymore."

"Lindsay; who was making a difference in your life when you were at that meetin'? What was going on in your life back when you sat in that victim's support group?"

"You said it before. Lu was just a tiny little thing and you were still in your wheelchair."

"Exactly. Your husband was in a wheelchair; you had your own shit to deal with."

Lindsay sighed heavily, her heart and emotions now wearing thin. "I just... I give up."

"What do you give up with, baby?" he sighed sympathetically as he pressed a kiss to her temple.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Mankind?"

"I think that every day." He informed her. "Hourly if I'm working with Flack." He tried cracking a joke. He gained a small smile, but it soon dissolved on her lips.

"If the tables were turned," she whispered. "If... if it had been me that had – you know... would you have-"

"I would have tracked him down and kicked the living shit out of him."

Lindsay sighed. "I was afraid you were going to say that."

"You knew I was goin' to say it though, didn't you?"

"Part of me did," She nodded. "But the other part hoped and prayed you'd stay impartial and pragmatic."

"I think it's pretty pragmatic when someone else other than me lays a finger on you if I'm honest Montana. And Lord help them if anyone ever so much thinks about laying a finger on Lucy. I'll... I'll... it's not even something that I should voice out loud I don't think."

"Do you think what they did was right?"

"Do I think killing them was the answer? Maybe yes, maybe no. I know that they shouldn't have taken it into their own hands, and I also know that they knew what they were doing was wrong. He was a bad person Lindsay, we know that... but they didn't need to bypass that to go to a lower level."

"Danny, given the situation they were in-"

"They could have called us." Danny reminded his wife. "... before they killed them that is." He quickly added. "They made a decision Lindsay. They were of sound mind and they knew exactly what they were doing. They made that choice and now they have to live with the consequences."

"But-"

"You've never been good at this," Danny sighed as he wrapped his arm around her tightly and pulled her into his side. "The internal battles and understanding that anyone can do anything to anyone; it's just the way it goes."

"It shouldn't be that way though," Lindsay sighed.

"But if it wasn't, we'd be out of a job."

"Most days, I'd gladly give our job up if that meant that days like today didn't have to happen."

"Shit happens, babe." Danny sighed. "Sometimes husbands, boyfriends, fathers; they can't keep the person they love safe. They can't protect their girl... but they can pick up the pieces you know? Everyone in this world has at least someone they can lean on when times get tough."

"But when-"

"I don't wanna hear it," Danny held his finger over her lips. "This is me picking up the pieces for you, okay? I know things today have fallen apart and things have been really tough for you... but you were a professional and efficient cop today. You then went above and beyond to provide the support that you thought Kate would need... so see there, you do care, and you _haven't_ let her down babe."

"It just... not everyone has got someone to pick up the pieces."

"Everyone has someone," Danny told her. "It's just a matter of whether they give them a chance to pick up what has been broken."

"Sometimes that's easier said than done. Look at Hawkes and Maya."

"That was unfortunate, yeah." Danny nodded in agreement. "And I wish things would have been different for them; but we're not Hawkes and Maya. We're Danny and Lindsay and we're as solid as a rock, aren't we?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Yeah we are."

"Exactly. We've been to hell and back Montana. We've been through more shit than any couple, and we've still made it. That's kind of like Kate; she's been through some shit, but she's still made it through, right?"

"Yeah..." Lindsay trailed off.

"I'm proud of you," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to her temple. "I'm proud of your professionalism. I'm proud of how caring you are. I'm proud that you're compassionate. And I'm damn proud of how good of a cop you are."

"I really needed this pep talk," she said, before delicately kissing Danny's rugged cheek. "I really needed _you_."

"Good job I'm always here for you then, huh?" He chuckled. "So, what do you say you and I taking off for the night. Going home, watching a movie with Lu and ordering take-out?"

Lindsay contemplated the offer for a moment or two, and nodded her head as a smile stretched across her face. "I think that sounds exactly like what I need right now."

"Fantastic," he gushed. "I'm gonna just run, say bye to Mac and okay with him that we're leaving... you know, check and make sure nothing else needs doing."

"Okay," she nodded. "I'll wait here?"

He nodded as he stood and quickly made his way from the bench they'd been sat on to the locker room door. Her eyes followed him to the door, and watched his movements as he disappeared from sight.

"Oh Linds," he said, popping his head back around the corner.

"Yeah?"

"I love you, baby."

She let out a sigh as a smile tugged at her lips. Before she could return the admission of love, he'd disappeared.

"I love you too," she whispered, despite the lack of company.

It had been a hard shift. She'd been tested physically, mentally and emotionally; but she'd managed to come out the other side... just. Having Danny around to support her though provided her with the knowledge that although sometimes she would falter, and question decisions she made... things that she said. But even after all of that, he still loved her. And he always would.

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**There we have it guys, another episode, another oneshot. Hope it satisfied your DannyLindsay loving needs. And maybe one of these days, I'll be able to write about the price of fish because the writers actually you know... wrote a DannyLindsay scene. I won't hold my breath though :p**

**Thanks for checking in! :) **


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